An Interesting Diversion

Last Saturday I worked in my yard for a few hours during the nice part of the day.  I left the garage door open while I was working in the backyard.  Unbeknownst to me, while the door was open, a raccoon got in the garage then up into the attic.    

I heard something strange Saturday night while I was working on my homework - the noise scared the heck out of me.  I wasn’t able to figure out initially where the noise was coming from.  I turned on every light in and outside the house hoping to scare away a would-be intruder.  My adrenaline was pumping as I braced myself for what I thought might be a fight to the death.  I made a call to alert a friend so at least my corpse wouldn't rot for days.  As my friend drove up the drive, I heard small paws overhead and insulation being moved around.  Saturday night was a long night listening to the rodent moving around and thinking about the potential for damage up there.

How do you get varmints out of your attic?  I called the Humane Society Sunday morning to get some advice.  The lovely woman said it was likely a raccoon in my attic.  She recommended I send a portable radio into the attic tuned to Z-92.  I laughed.  Z-92??  Do raccoons have a discriminating ear for music?  No she said, Z-92 plays long sets of music.  She told me to turn it up as loud as possible since raccoons are nocturnal; this would keep the raccoon awake during the day so it would be anxious to leave.  Sold!  I found a radio and found myself some ear phones (so I could put up with the noise).  So much for finishing my homework!

Sunday night I heard noises that sounded like a kitten coming from the attic.  The internet said that must mean there are babies up there.  Eye-yie-yie!!!  Internet resources say that raccoons are protective of their young - so much that they are capable of killing to protect their young.  Lots of stories of violent behavior when dealing with raccoons on the internet.  Perfect!  Now I learn that frigging Ricky Raccoon is dangerous and I've potentially got a family living above my kitchen.

I contacted a pest control company first thing on Monday and begged them to drop all their appointments and come to my house.  They said their first appointment was Wednesday morning.  DRAT!  I was not sure I could deal with this for two more days!!!

The mama raccoon must have slipped out at some point Tuesday morning while the car was warming up.  I was relieved that I didn't hear anything in the attic Tuesday night when I got home.  I thought I had been through the worst already.   That joy was soon destroyed.   About 9:30 p.m. the mama raccoon began clawing my garage doors and the nearby siding trying to get inside.  She was as big as a cat and her back was arched.  I saw the videos on YouTube of angry raccoons.  This one looked like the other angry animals.   Rats!  I don't want my house to be destroyed!  I got her attention by banging on the windows (from the inside of the house - I am not a fool!).  She stopped clawing the door and scampered right up to the window and  looked at me.  We played that game for awhile until she got bored with me.  She ripped some of the siding off on side of the garage wall then attempted to climb up the garage siding.   It was surreal!  I had no idea a raccoon could scale siding.  What to do…what to do??!!!  I called the non-emergency number for the local police department to ask for advice.  The officer was wonderful, he called me "dear" and connected me to the dispatcher after he gave her my story.   Two of Omaha's finest showed up in front of my house about 11 p.m.  I made them come in my house to spare them from the evils of the crazy rodent.  They seemed slightly amused by my concern.  It was obvious they hadn't seen the same YouTube video I had!  Their bright flashing lights probably scared the raccoon away but they searched for the raccoon around my house without success.  As soon as they left she was back, trying to get back into my garage.  She chewed through the rubber molding at the bottom of the garage doors so I called "911" again.  About 25 minutes later three officers returned.  (Must have been a good story since their numbers were growing.)   They cornered her in the tree where she remained for at least an hour.  The Humane Society arrived close to 1 a.m.  The raccoon wouldn't budge from the tree, the officers and Humane Society person left at 1:30.  Not long after the raccoon resumed her attack on my garage doors.  It was already a long night and I couldn't begin to live with it getting any longer.  I got the portable radio and positioned it behind the garage doors that now had clear air holes now so she got a full dose of heavy metal and "Todd n Tyler".  The lethal dose of heavy metal  kept her away from the garage doors that night.

Wednesday  morning the pest control man came, evaluated the damage and listened to my story.  He took my ladder and made his way up to the attic and took a quick look at the attic.  It was clear something had been up in the attic but there was no adult raccoon up there.  Apparently they will attack if they feel threatened, so this could have been even more interesting.  Since coast was clear he crawled in.  He found six kits (baby raccoons) right where I heard the insulation being moved around.  He grabbed them with gloved hands and put them in a cardboard box lined with a car wash towel.  The box went outside the garage and the opening to the attic was re-sealed.  I thought it was finally over.

Thursday night the raccoon was back.  This time she got on the roof and started dismantling the siding, ripping up the shingles and trying to remove the exhaust vent on the outside of the house.  Holy mackerel!  She was actually shaking the side of the house.  I was ready this time.  The babies were 20 feet away from me and I had a powerful flashlight.  My honey came over and removed the towel from the open box to expose the kits while I kept the flashlight on the mama.  We waited for mama to find the babies and hoped she would find a new home far away from this house.  Within a half hour she discovered them and took them away.

I learned more about raccoons than I ever expected this past week!  From here on out, I will NOT leave the garage door open any longer than the time to get the car in and out and to completely seal the attic opening from the garage.  Life lesson of the week -- (check).